mixingbowl | Took a wrong turn somewhere (or is it right?)

Oh. That's...that's good.

[Now that he isn't worked up, Yuuri thinks about what he just said, how he'd basically scolded Victor in a round about way. Mortified, he sinks lower in his seat and pretends to be invisible.]

[he's not far from the house now, but there's the obvious question to ask while he has Yuri trapped in the car]

Have you ever been in love, Yuri?

Um... [Wow, straight to the point. Yuuri squirms, unused to being asked such personal questions. But Victor had said much more than Yuuri would have expected just now...

So now Yuuri wonders, has he been in love before? There had been that puppy crush on Yuuko when they were younger, but that had quickly turned to simple friendship once it became clear she and Nishigori had a connection.

Voice soft and low, he admits ] No...not really.

It's difficult to say, right? I've known different kinds of love, I'm sure I've felt it. Still, I never dedicated myself to it. [he'll pull into the driveway, parking his car under the covered porch. His garage was stuffed full with old costumes and skating gear, the vacation home serving as glorified storage container more often than not. He throws a wink to Yuri and the line]

I'm starting to think it's time to explore. [but he'll hop out of the car quickly after, to start loading up on the bags to take in. Cold, so cold out, he's going to shuffle in quick as possible]

[Though he's initially distracted by the old costumes--his inner Victor fan geeking out as he spots a few familiar ones--Yuuri quickly shakes himself out of it to lend a hand with the groceries.

He waits until they're inside to ask, blushing but determined-]

Why didn't you pursue it the other times? Why now?

[he'll set the groceries down on the counter, shaking off his heavy winter coat in the warm house before taking his gloves off, too. Makkachin gets a head pat as Yuri brings in his half and sets them down, before asking further. Love, huh...]

"Stay Close to Me" was a passing fancy or so I thought. After the Grand Prix, I think I warmed up to the idea of fully exploring love for myself. [he looks just a tad bashful, but it's still playful]

My little crush on you might have something to do with it.

[The blush returns with a vengeance. It's nothing Victor hasn't said already today, but it still gets to him every time.]

I... [Yuuri's still at the counter, watching Victor with a mixture of confusion and longing. He did so badly at the Finals, and yet Victor sees something in him worth exploring. He wants so badly to be worthy of that feeling.

Yuuri wets his lips nervously.] What did you have in mind? The, um, exploring love part.

Do you want me to be completely upfront? There's no obligation to appease me, of course, buy if you want it all out in the open... [he just trails off, leaving it for Yuri to push or let go]

[He hesitates. Does he want to know all this? It feels like he's going to be crossing a line once he says "yes". Still, knowing exactly what Victor might want out of this doesn't seem like a bad thing, either.

Breathing in, Yuuri nods.]

I want to know. Please.

You're the type I could have absolutely wild sex with all night, cuddle up with for breakfast in the morning, and then talk the whole day away with.

That's why I took you home. [he laughs]

I'm not sure if that's crude, romantic, or both!

Probably both... [He manages to squeak out, even with both his hands pressed to his mouth in shock.]

You--you do remember that I don't have. Um. Experience...

You do remember I could teach you.

[well this grocery trip sure took a nosedive into a sexual place]

[He would've thought Victor would want someone more experienced, and yet here he is, offering to teach Yuuri the ropes. On sex. Yuuri still has trouble wrapping his mind around this.

Frustration at himself spikes suddenly, making Yuuri shake his head. Even though a tiny part of him is interested and wants to jump in immediately, the much larger part of him recoils at the thought of so much intimacy so quickly. He can't do it.]

Even if you could... I'd. I'd probably take this at a very slow pace.

[Surely that would be a deal breaker for most people? Yuuri doesn't even know.]

[Victor's smile goes from sharp, sensual, to very soft. It's a fluid and natural change, not jarring or forced on his features. He says very simply and genuine]

Slow can be nice.

[Yuuri can hardly believe what he's hearing, one hand pressed to his chest, like he's trying to slow down his rapid heartbeat.]

Wh-what? You really don't mind?

I said I wanted to explore.

What's the fun in that, if I'm not willing to take my time?

[It's that willingness to go at Yuuri's pace that convinces him in the end. Had he gotten another answer, Yuuri wouldn't have given it another thought, even for the man who had been his idol for so many years.]

Okay. [Quiet, but steady, his voice doesn't waver nearly as much as before. And this time Yuuri manages to smile, a softer, more trusting expression on his face.] I want to explore with you.

[you're getting SPARKLED at]

Really? This will be so fun, I want to know everything about you!

[Oh...that bright smile is a good look on him. Much better than the muted one he'd worn in the car. Yuuri's inordinately pleased that he managed to draw that out of him.

Still smiling, he leans against the counter.]

I want to know more about you, too.

[Mentally, he's just shoving all the little Victor Facts he's memorized from magazines to the side. Learning the answers from the man himself is so much better anyway.]

[sorry, Yuri, you're getting called out immediately]

It's a bit strange! You admitted you were a fanboy. [he has to tease] You probably know a ton about me, already. I've got catching up to do.

[Ouch, straight to the heart. Yuuri flinches, back to fiddling with his sleeves.]

I--maybe. But anything I picked up is from interviews. I want to hear this all from you, so it would feel like we're both starting with um...blank slates...? [He covers his mouth with one hand, embarrassment thoroughly seeping back in.] That probably sounded really stupid.

You don't have to pretend for me. I want to know you just as you are. [The fan thing is honestly really cute to him, it makes him feel determined to not just live up to expectations, but surpass them.]

I'll be the real me, too. Deal?

[Somehow, with just a few words, Victor manages to put a stopper on his overthinking. It's temporary, as always, but it allows Yuuri to smile more genuinely again at least.]

Deal. [Yuuri, thinking that they should really organize all the supplies they've brought back, gets an idea just then.] Let's put the groceries away together. You can ask me anything you want while we're doing that.

Hmm, let me think... [he'll start organizing the items on the counter, getting the stuff that needed to be kept cold out first to go into the fridge]

Silly question, probably, but how far can you see without your glasses?

I'm not completely blind without them, but...

[Yuuri peeks into the cabinets and emerges victorious with a probably-forgotten fruit bowl. He drops the apples and other fruit in there.]

Everything's kind of blurry around the edges when I don't have them on. I definitely can't read anything without them.

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