mixingbowl | Took a wrong turn somewhere (or is it right?)

I usually start commissioning the music for my next season after the Grand Prix. I'll put it off if I'm not feeling inspired, but... [something about Yuri miiight have his mind buzzing through potential choreography]

Do you want me to bore you with my romantic past, Yuri?

N-no, that's not what I meant. [Right on cue, the blush returns.]

It just sounded kind of...lonely, that's all. [He's a little surprised that Victor's being so open with him, but Yuuri finds himself feeling a little--concerned, perhaps would be the word. He'd have thought someone like Victor wouldn't be left wanting for love, of all things, but here he is, implying otherwise.]

Edited 2017-01-05 23:43 (UTC)

Ahaa... [that exact same, breezy laugh, but something about it... it doesn't sound real, or rather, like it's covering up another reaction]

That's a bit sad sounding! I would hate for you to feel pitifully, towards me.

[There's...something off with that laugh, isn't there? Even if he's only really talked to Victor since this morning, Yuuri can't help but feel that the way Victor had laughed and smiled earlier had felt--different.]

It--it's not pity! [Forgetting for a moment that he's buckled in, Yuuri jerks upright so suddenly, the seat-belt goes taut, making him blink. It's followed by a second of sheepish silence before Yuuri barrels right on.] I just...don't want you to feel that way. You deserve to be happy.

[again, that laugh, but it's obvious more genuine the second time]

I'm happy from other things, don't worry. I love skating, I love travel, I love competition... but there's more to love in life. All that's left for me is to discover how much more there is.

Oh. That's...that's good.

[Now that he isn't worked up, Yuuri thinks about what he just said, how he'd basically scolded Victor in a round about way. Mortified, he sinks lower in his seat and pretends to be invisible.]

[he's not far from the house now, but there's the obvious question to ask while he has Yuri trapped in the car]

Have you ever been in love, Yuri?

Um... [Wow, straight to the point. Yuuri squirms, unused to being asked such personal questions. But Victor had said much more than Yuuri would have expected just now...

So now Yuuri wonders, has he been in love before? There had been that puppy crush on Yuuko when they were younger, but that had quickly turned to simple friendship once it became clear she and Nishigori had a connection.

Voice soft and low, he admits ] No...not really.

It's difficult to say, right? I've known different kinds of love, I'm sure I've felt it. Still, I never dedicated myself to it. [he'll pull into the driveway, parking his car under the covered porch. His garage was stuffed full with old costumes and skating gear, the vacation home serving as glorified storage container more often than not. He throws a wink to Yuri and the line]

I'm starting to think it's time to explore. [but he'll hop out of the car quickly after, to start loading up on the bags to take in. Cold, so cold out, he's going to shuffle in quick as possible]

[Though he's initially distracted by the old costumes--his inner Victor fan geeking out as he spots a few familiar ones--Yuuri quickly shakes himself out of it to lend a hand with the groceries.

He waits until they're inside to ask, blushing but determined-]

Why didn't you pursue it the other times? Why now?

[he'll set the groceries down on the counter, shaking off his heavy winter coat in the warm house before taking his gloves off, too. Makkachin gets a head pat as Yuri brings in his half and sets them down, before asking further. Love, huh...]

"Stay Close to Me" was a passing fancy or so I thought. After the Grand Prix, I think I warmed up to the idea of fully exploring love for myself. [he looks just a tad bashful, but it's still playful]

My little crush on you might have something to do with it.

[The blush returns with a vengeance. It's nothing Victor hasn't said already today, but it still gets to him every time.]

I... [Yuuri's still at the counter, watching Victor with a mixture of confusion and longing. He did so badly at the Finals, and yet Victor sees something in him worth exploring. He wants so badly to be worthy of that feeling.

Yuuri wets his lips nervously.] What did you have in mind? The, um, exploring love part.

Do you want me to be completely upfront? There's no obligation to appease me, of course, buy if you want it all out in the open... [he just trails off, leaving it for Yuri to push or let go]

[He hesitates. Does he want to know all this? It feels like he's going to be crossing a line once he says "yes". Still, knowing exactly what Victor might want out of this doesn't seem like a bad thing, either.

Breathing in, Yuuri nods.]

I want to know. Please.

You're the type I could have absolutely wild sex with all night, cuddle up with for breakfast in the morning, and then talk the whole day away with.

That's why I took you home. [he laughs]

I'm not sure if that's crude, romantic, or both!

Probably both... [He manages to squeak out, even with both his hands pressed to his mouth in shock.]

You--you do remember that I don't have. Um. Experience...

You do remember I could teach you.

[well this grocery trip sure took a nosedive into a sexual place]

[He would've thought Victor would want someone more experienced, and yet here he is, offering to teach Yuuri the ropes. On sex. Yuuri still has trouble wrapping his mind around this.

Frustration at himself spikes suddenly, making Yuuri shake his head. Even though a tiny part of him is interested and wants to jump in immediately, the much larger part of him recoils at the thought of so much intimacy so quickly. He can't do it.]

Even if you could... I'd. I'd probably take this at a very slow pace.

[Surely that would be a deal breaker for most people? Yuuri doesn't even know.]

[Victor's smile goes from sharp, sensual, to very soft. It's a fluid and natural change, not jarring or forced on his features. He says very simply and genuine]

Slow can be nice.

[Yuuri can hardly believe what he's hearing, one hand pressed to his chest, like he's trying to slow down his rapid heartbeat.]

Wh-what? You really don't mind?

I said I wanted to explore.

What's the fun in that, if I'm not willing to take my time?

[It's that willingness to go at Yuuri's pace that convinces him in the end. Had he gotten another answer, Yuuri wouldn't have given it another thought, even for the man who had been his idol for so many years.]

Okay. [Quiet, but steady, his voice doesn't waver nearly as much as before. And this time Yuuri manages to smile, a softer, more trusting expression on his face.] I want to explore with you.

[you're getting SPARKLED at]

Really? This will be so fun, I want to know everything about you!

[Oh...that bright smile is a good look on him. Much better than the muted one he'd worn in the car. Yuuri's inordinately pleased that he managed to draw that out of him.

Still smiling, he leans against the counter.]

I want to know more about you, too.

[Mentally, he's just shoving all the little Victor Facts he's memorized from magazines to the side. Learning the answers from the man himself is so much better anyway.]

[sorry, Yuri, you're getting called out immediately]

It's a bit strange! You admitted you were a fanboy. [he has to tease] You probably know a ton about me, already. I've got catching up to do.

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