mixingbowl | We will go where our dreams come true

We will go where our dreams come true

[Time passes by so quickly, Yuuri muses as he steps off the train and joins the crowd making its way toward the station's nearest exit. It's true that he'd seen Minami at Nationals just the week before, but between the practices and the interviews, a competition is hardly the place for doing much catching up.

A few other familiar faces had been amongst the competitors, too--ones that Yuuri recognized from the regional championships. Minami and his friends had made a point to seek him out when they could at the time, and it had been...nice to be included in a group again, especially when Viktor wasn't there to ground him.

I'm here. His cell phone goes right back into his pocket as soon as sends the text to Minami.

The simple hotel he'd booked for a couple nights is only a short distance away from Minami's home rink, which makes it easy for him to drop off his sparse luggage and head right over. The building's lobby is strangely empty when Yuuri arrives, duffel bag slung over his shoulder. No one seems to be stopping him from going right in, though, so that's exactly what Yuuri does. The rink is easy enough to find from there.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[And suddenly it all fits. There's still some wobbling - it takes a while to unlearn bad habits - but Minami hits each jump. His smile growing bigger with each landing. He's got it. He's really got it.]

[He'll hear clapping once he stops for breath. Yuuri skates over to him, smiling brightly.]

So, how does it feel to know you can land the triple axel cleanly now?

[Minami comes spinning out of his last one and sweeps into Yuuri. Probably swinging them both around a couple of times before he hugs him. There's too much surging through to not.]

Ahahahaha this is AMAZING! Thank you.

[He's too caught up in the joy of it all to press further. Or worry about things slipping out that shouldn't. Everything feels good right now, and Minami pretty much floats through the rest of the day.

He pops awake early the next morning. The thought of the triple axel still first in his head. With the that jump down, it means Minami can start relying on it in his other programs. And his Short Program's been languishing... no time like the present! He grabs his music and an apple, then it's off to the rink!]

[He sees the hug coming from a mile away, and the contact honestly doesn't bother him at all this time. Yuuri returns it, grinning, as he's swept up in Minami's joy.]

You didn't seem to need that much help, but...you're welcome.

[Though sometimes Yuuri wishes he could sleep in, his body is just too accustomed to waking up early for training, especially during the season. He gulps down a simple breakfast, makes a protein shake to take along with him, and heads out for the rink. It's pretty early, and he's hoping he can get practice a little before the regulars start trickling in for the day.

When he gets there, though, he's surprised to find the ice already occupied.]

[Maybe Minami should have waited. Worked on another piece. At least until he was sure Yuuri was back in Hasetsu. Maybe he had thought of it, deep down, and went with it anyway.]

I keep denying, begging for attention
Dropping hints, hoping for some tension
Getting tired of making all this racket

[While "King of New York" was all brash confidence, "Stop Desire" is the opposite. Still bright, with a good beat, but frustration and longing pour out onto the ice. It's an entirely different kind of program for Minami. Anyone watching could tell he feels this song. Down to his core. It's not something he could have skated a year ago.

At the second refrain, Minami circles around for the combo. The one he'd been intent on, back when he was sick. It's probably too much to put in a Short Program. But today, Minami hits it. Triple Axel-Single Loop-Triple Salchow.

Yuri's jump.]

Tonight, you're fuel for my fire
You can't stop desire, oh oh oh oh

[Somehow, Yuuri hadn't even considered that it could be Minami making use of the rink so early. When he spies the familiar figure out on the ice, his brows flick up with surprise. Instead of calling out to him, though, Yuuri drops his bag on the floor and leans against the boards to watch, knowing that Minami hasn't realized he's there.]

Oh.. [He says quietly as he listens past the bouncy music and hears the lyrics instead, matching it with the emotions pouring off of Minami as he skates. It's the jump that makes him pause. Figure skating has always been the language he's most fluent in, never exactly being good at words even when they really count. That was the combo Minami had wanted to use, the combo from his program.

Well, Yuuri knows he's been working on those jumps all this time, so it isn't exactly a surprise that he's throwing it in like this. And yet... he can't shake the feeling that there's something more to it.]

[One the last chorus Minami throws in a triple axel. Just to feel it. The one thing he's been given. It's enough, it has to be enough, it isn't enough. And he doesn't know how to fix any of that.

He finishes with hands stretching out to empty seats. Reaching for what he's never going to catch. Then he registers the space is occupied. Yuuri is actually there.

All the color drains from Minami's face.]

Ah -

[One drawback of ice-skating. No way to make a fast exit. His shoes are on the opposite side of the rink, right where Yuri's standing. Minami considers vaulting over the boards and running anyway. He considers that maybe the ice will just melt and drown him.]

[That's not the reaction Yuuri was expecting. Wavering between a tentative smile and a slight frown at Minami's obvious distress, Yuuri's there to meet him when he reaches the side of the rink.]

You really nailed that triple axel combo. [Yuuri tells him, after a beat. His instincts are telling him that something's wrong, but he can't quite figure out what it is.] If you skate like that for the Grand Prix series, I think you'll definitely make the final cut.

[Minami's automatically reached for his guards. Now he stands frozen on one foot, a guard half on the other. Staring at Yuuri.]

That -

That's IT?! That's all you have to say?!?

[It's amazing, how life keeps managing to throw new Worst Things Ever at you. First it was Yuuri seeing Minami practically skate a love letter. But oh no, this is worse - Yuuri not even understanding it.]

[The outburst almost makes Yuuri take a step back in surprise. He watches Minami uncertainly, unconsciously tensing up.]

Then... there was a reason you were skating to that? It wasn't just my imagination... [He could tell that Minami was skating his heart out, of course, but that would mean...]

Oh. There's someone that you have feelings for, isn't there? [Ah, that must be it! Naturally, anyone would feel a little embarrassed if they were caught skating like that. He'd certainly felt the same way when the triplets recorded him skating Stay Close To Me for Yuuko.]

[So close. It's so close and Minami could... probably still beat a retreat. Except then what? He keeps repeating this circle? Nothing changing?

Suddenly he's angry. All the emotions of the skate are still too close to be pulled back. It's like the Lohengrin argument all over again. Doesn't Yuuri think well of himself at all?! How can he not, when Minami's pretty sure he hung the stupid stars?

Minami slams on the last skate guard and rears up. Fists clenched, heat prickling behind his eyes.]

Is it really so hard for you to believe that someone could actually like you?!

[WHELP.]

[His eyes widen. This isn't the first time Minami's been upset with him, but it stings just as much as it did before. Yuuri exhales shakily, running a hand through his hair in a nervous habit.]

It's not that I don't... believe it. [His words come quietly, haltingly like he's trying to find the right ones to say.] It just...doesn't occur to me until someone points it out.

[With a sudden tightness in his chest as realization hits him, Yuuri looks at Minami.] Is what what it is? You like me that way?

YES!

[In a way, this argument is even worse. They're friends now, and Minami doesn't want to lose that. He understands a little more, how Yuuri's brain works. How the anxiety gnaws at him.

It does not make any of this hurt less.]

And I know you have someone and I could never compete with him and I don't want to!

[Viktor is so obviously what Yuuri needs, in a way Minami just wouldn't be able to. Never mind that he's gorgeous. They're so good together. Everyone agrees on that. Even Minami. Especially Minami.

He swipes at his face, trying to keep tears from spilling over. It's a losing battle.]

But I can't just - NOT feel this! I tried!!

[For a second, he sympathizes with Viktor; is this how he'd felt when Yuuri had burst into tears in front of him? ]

Minami... [He takes a step forward, one hand raised like he's about to reach for him. But he changes his mind, withdrawing and clenching his hand above his chest instead.] I'm sorry.

[What else can he say to make this better? Yuuri's honestly at a loss. All he can do is apologize for hurting Minami when they've just become friends.]

Shit.

I don't -

[Minami doesn't understand what Yuuri has to be sorry for. The rage has dissolved into full-on crying. His sleeves are going to get soaked, but he can't even think far enough to grab tissues.]

I don't - I didn't - want to mess this up...

You're not. [Yuuri watches him with concern, trying to find the right words that will ease Minami's pain. He chews his bottom lip for a moment before remembering that while Minami's using his sleeves to soak up his tears, Yuuri does actually have tissues in his pack.

He quickly fetches them from his duffel bag and gently presses a few into Minami's hands. His words might be failing him right now, but he stays close to Minami, letting the younger skater know wordlessly that he isn't going anywhere.]

[When Yuuri moves away, Minami doesn't blame him. Probably freaked out by all the stupid emotions spilling everywhere this is such a disaster -

Then he registers the tissues. Yuuri's hands, warm and solid.

Minami presses them to his face. Then sort of - tilts forward. Resting his head against Yuuri's chest. He doesn't try to turn it into a hug or anything, he just needs touch. Just something to ground him.]

[Some of the tension in his shoulders still lingers, but slowly it lessens as he lifts one hand to rest it on Minami's back. He doesn't try to make this into a hug either, simply letting Minami draw comfort from the touch if he needs it.

The plastic packet of tissues crinkles quietly in his free hand, ready to be used if Minami needs more.]

[Slowly, Minami gets his breath back under control. It doesn't feel like anything else is, but he can do that much. The sobs quiet and finally subside.

He pulls back, eyes and face red, and realizes he's gotten Yuuri's shirt wet. Minami grabs another tissue and tries to mop it up.]

Sorry...

It's fine, Minami. [Yuuri dabs at the wet spot with a tissue, as well, though his eyes flicker over to Minami a few times with concern.]

Let's... [It comes out soft, hesitant. Yuuri clears his throat and tries again.] Let's take a break from skating for a few hours. Is there any place nearby where you like to go?

[Just yesterday, an invitation from Yuuri to go anywhere would have sent Minami's heart racing. Now it's too wrung out to pick up more then a few beats.

He plops down on a bench. Numbly wrestling the skates off. He still kind of want to run but that's not a good way to repay Yuuri's patience.]

Um. There's a park, by the river...

Sounds nice. [And he means it! If it's as quiet and serene as he imagines it to be, it could jut be the place they need right now. While Yuuri himself understands how easy it is to lose yourself in the feelings on the ice, he isn't sure if he wants Minami getting back on there when he's upset.

Yuuri waits until Minami's finished putting away his skates before he approaches again. Watching Minami carefully for further signs of discomfort, Yuuri slowly places his hand on Minami's shoulder again. He isn't used to being so tactile with other people, but for this, he's willing to make an exception.] Ready?

[Minami leans into the touch without thinking. Using it as a psychological brace to stand. One step forward. Then another. Yuuri knows now, so the worst part is at least over. Maybe.]

Yeah.

[There's flowers out, this time of year, a few people walking dogs. It's still early. They mostly have the park to themselves.]

[Yuuri spies a bench by the water and angles their path in that direction, though they continue to walk at a leisurely pace. It's peaceful here, and no one calls out to them, which makes it easier to maintain that fragile sort of silence that's fallen between them.

Finally, it's Yuuri who breaks it, voice soft.]

How are you feeling? [Then, he winces, shaking his head.] I'm... not that great with people. You might have noticed that already. [Though it's getting easier to admit this now, it still sounds like he'd had to drag it out of himself.]

[Minami manages a faint smile at that. Only a fraction of the usual wattage, but at least it flickers on.]

Right. So I never meant to tell you - I just -

[He lets out a growl of aggravation and flops down on the bench.]

Tired. I feel tired.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

POOR MINAMI, your crush is incredibly oblivious

Being a kid is hard and no one understands.

truly

Legitimately tearing up poor kid

:(

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject